Helping mothers + daughters find renewed trust + reconnection.
You’re both hurting.
You don’t feel like you are being heard.
Mom feels like she is being constantly rejected or blamed. She’s not feeling cared for. But she is also trying her best. She doesn’t know how to do it any differently. She feels like she is walking on egg shells. This is not how their relationship used to be. She feels like she doesn’t know how to mother an adult daughter. What she hears is the word “boundary” but what she feels is the distance.
Daughter is frustrated. Years of not feeling understood has built up a wall. She doesn’t know how to help her mother understand what she needs. She feels guilty that she isn’t able to meet her mother’s needs. She tries to communicate but doesn’t feel like her mother listens or changes. She would like a closer relationship with her mother but doesn’t know how to make that happen.
The reality is that generational patterns set mothers and daughters up for conflict.
Where both women feels like they have to fight for who gets to be heard
and who gets their needs met.
But your relationship can actually be a mutually affirming one, where both of you are heard and understood.
Years of working with mother-daughter dynamics as a therapist brought me to a point of getting more training is point of coaching.
Why coaching? Because as a therapist, I realized I had been trained to perpetuate mother-blaming.
Repairing the mother-daughter bond requires validating the pain of the daughter but also seeing mothers as women first.
It requires understanding the female lineage of emotional neglect.
It requires starting to understand what your daughter really needs from you (and what you need for yourself).
And it requires seeing your mother in a new light.
The mother daughter relationship is uniquely powerful in its ability to change generational patterns of women being silenced, unsupported, and not heard.
Are you ready to break the cycle?
Reconnection is possible. It’s never too late.
Trust me. I’ve seen it. Years of built-up tension and resentment washed away as mothers and daughters come to the table to have honest conversations. Mothers and daughters who didn’t know how to have a conversation without a fight becoming closer than ever. All as a result of listening -and really understanding- each other’s perspective.
Oftentimes, through different phases of life, our view of our mother or our daughter can become distorted. Instead of seeing each other clearly, we see instead the stories that have built up over the years. Hurtful narratives that affect how we interpret each other. Hurtful narratives that can cause both mother and daughter to not feel understood, appreciated, or loved. Hurtful narratives that keep both mother and daughter at a distance, unable to share their real vulnerability, or ask for the support they need.
It is a beautiful thing to witness - again and again - a mother finding her place in her daughter’s life again and a daughter regaining trust in her mother’s love and support. Sometimes what is reclaimed is the closeness that was once there in childhood; other times, it is a newfound closeness they never before had.
But almost always what the mother finds is the new way of loving and supporting her daughter actually comes more naturally - and easily - than the old way of uncertainty, walking on egg shells, second guessing herself, doubting her every move, and not knowing what her daughter feels or needs.
And the work a mother and daughter do in The Intensive almost always increases the respect and appreciation that a daughter feels toward her mother - something that also gets expressed in our work together.
It is a healing process for both. Sometimes the work even includes ritual burnings of words like “burden,” or “selfish,” or “failure.” Themes that have been unconsciously passed down through the generations that mother and daughter both get to be free of.
If you’re feeling called, don’t second guess it. There is a path back to each other and together we will find it.
Introducing:
The Intensive
A 3-month therapeutic container for mothers and adult daughters to deepen their understanding of one another, strengthen their connection, and find authentic closeness again in their relationship.
Our 3 months together include:
12 Mother/Daughter Sessions (90min)
4 Individual Sessions (2 for each of you; 50min.)
2 x 90min. Mother/Daughter Mapping Session
On-Demand Support via Voxer for support and integration
Investment: $2333/month or $6300 pay in full.
How It Works
We begin with a phone consultation where I speak with each of you separately to assess what is happening in your relationship and what is possibly causing conflict. We will assess whether we are a good fit in working together in a coaching format, and if couples or individual work is the best fit for you.
If we commit to working together for mother-daughter couple’s work, two of our sessions will 90min. in length as we draw your Mother/Daughter map. This is visual exercise that takes place live in session (albeit virtually). I describe this mapping in more detail further down this page. See below.
I provide a 3-month container for our work together. The container encourages the commitment and focus that I believe drives real change. It is designed to be an intensive. Weekly sessions are encouraged as that is what will create real traction and change.
Over the course of 3-months, you will receive:
12 Coaching Sessions - both mother and daughter present. Sessions are virtual and 90min. in length.
4 Individual Sessions - 2 for each of you. (50 min. in length.)
2 Mother/Daughter Mapping Session (90 min. in length)
Coaching with me via Voxer voice messaging in-between our sessions.
Process-oriented homework that encourages your own self-reflection, helps you to understand each other’s emotional realities, and helps to integrate the work we are doing together in-between sessions.
We will spend time repairing key events in your relationship - what wasn’t heard, what was missing, and identifying what you need now in your relationship.
You will each have time with me in individual sessions so that I can support your personal growth as it relates to the dynamic and your goal of how you want your mother/daughter relationship to be.
You will also have access to me in-between sessions so that I can keep supporting the new perspective + tools for you to bring to the relationship.
You will each learn to develop the skills necessary for each of you to feel heard, seen, and known.
Every client and mother-daughter couple are different, and it is hard to assess how long your work will take without meeting you, and experiencing how quickly you can facilitate the change you desire. I believe that when we put our focus and attention on something in a concentrated and dedicated way, change occurs. I have created this experience with your transformation in mind. See FAQ below for more info.
Reach out to me to learn more. Trish@TheEmotionProject.com or Apply below to give me insight into your mother/daughter dynamics.
The investment is $2333/month or $6300 pay in full.
What beloved clients have shared:
I just wanted to drop you a note to thank you for putting me and my daughter back together again. We have really grown in trust and respect for each other and we couldn’t have done it without you. Because of unforeseen family circumstances, I lived with my daughter and her husband for two months to help them through a difficult time. My daughter and I both thought of you and how thankful we were that you put us back together again so we were able to be there for each other in a very scary time. We just love you.— client
“Your support of us has meant so much to both of us. I honestly could never thank you enough for the gift of relationship you are giving us.” — client
Thank you again for yet another insightful and meaningful session. Each time you bring us to a conversation that needs to happen that moves aside the blocks and brings us closer. — client
“You have been so most impactful in our lives and relationships, I’m forever grateful.” - client
“We are both extremely grateful for your professional and experienced guidance through our emotional minefield. You felt like an invested partner in seeing us into a healthy, trusting and more loving relationship. You were fair, never judgmental, and always supportive to both of us. We just can't say enough good things about our experience working with you.” - client
“Your guidance has been so impactful it feels hard to capture in words.” - client
How I help:
I help you both start to really hear each other and understand each other from a new perspective. We will map out the generational patterns around emotional neglect, unspoken needs, and suppressed emotions as it relates to the women in your family lineage and the men in their lives. We explore how these patterns contribute to your mother/daughter conflict so as to soften the lens from which you both view yourselves and each other.
This is not about taking the long walk of shame - although it might be a painful journey at times. It’s about learning. It’s about learning how to listen and learning how to respond in a new way with a new language. There is a lot of compassion available here for the new emotional language mothers are being asked to learn in order to meet the emotional needs of their daughter. I help you learn this language.
I help you both get better at feeling for our work together is about reconnecting - and you both have to be emotionally available for that. This takes safety, reassurance, trust, and time. It also takes courage. There is a lot of compassion available here for the daughter who must learn how to open again to her mother’s love - imperfect as it may be.
I help you both get clear about what you are wanting and needing from this relationship. Not just from the “boundary” perspective (the who-am-I-separate-from-you perspective) but from the place where you are forever connected and in need of each other’s love.
I consider myself a midwife of tenderness. Tenderness is at the core of all of us and central to our authenticity. I help each of you get more connected to your heart, which I believe will guide you in how you relate to each other.
I help you become more attuned to yourself - and to each other. Together we start to name the feelings underneath the behaviors so that we can identify your emotional needs and learn how to meet them (and communicate them) in new ways.
We give your relationship an opportunity to repair and reconnect so that trust between you can be strengthened. Learning how to repair will also be central to our work as you will not always “get it right” in your new relationship.
I help both of you really see each other. This means unpacking projections and rewriting old narratives. This means seeing your mother as a woman, separate from the lens of your unmet needs. This means seeing your daughter as person separate from you - not as a source for your own needs nor a source of rejection.
I help you be the mother your daughter needs you to be - not by shutting yourself down - but by discovering new ways of being in relationship to her that can actually become easier and more freeing because it centers you and keeps you closer to your own heart.
Understand where each of you get activated or pulled back into old ways of responding and relating - and help you recover more quickly.
Co-create the kind of relationship you both deeply long for.
What is Mother Daughter Mapping?
Our first priority will be mapping each of your Mother/Daughter maps where each of you are the daughter in your own map. This is how we will begin to see the generational themes that have led to the conflict you are currently experiencing and help us outline your unique path to change.
CENTERS WOMEN: A mother/daughter mapping session centers the emotional experience of the 3 primary women in your family lineage: daughter, mother, grandmother Each of you are the daughter in your own map. We aim to understand their lives, circumstances, and emotional realities.
PRE-WORK: You will receive the instructions for pre-work that involve gathering facts about these women, including the dates of their birth, # of siblings, age upon which they married or had children, and the gender limitations and expectations that defined their lives.
90 MIN MAPPING SESSIONS: We don’t rush this. Each of you will have your own 90-minute mapping session. During the 90min+ mapping session, we will break down the emotional realities and relationships of the women in your family, including your own. This is a visual experience where I chart your map live (albeit virtually) in front of you. By doing so, we begin to see the patterns that get passed down through the generations.
CLARITY + PATH TO CHANGE: By clearly identifying the patterns and their repercussions, we chart a path to change for both mother daughter.
SOFTER PERSPECTIVES: The map will offer you softer eyes from which you see yourself, your daughter, and perhaps even your own mother and invites you go forward in your life, honoring your needs, feelings, and voice in the world.
Ok, I have more questions.
How can I know if 3-months will be enough time?
As I stated above, every person and mother-daughter couple are different, and it is hard to assess how long your work will take as it is dependent on how quickly you can facilitate the change you desire. I have ensured the sessions are 90min in length to give us ample time to have both of you heard. I wanted to ensure there was enough time in each session for conversations to not only be started, but to be completed.
I believe that when we put our focus and attention on something in a concentrated and dedicated way, change occurs. I am vey intentional in offering this work as a container rather than open-ended sessions. I believe a focused, committed container lends itself to transformation. What we focus on changes. What I have noticed, from years of experience, is that open-ended sessions (with no end-date in mind) can dilute the intention and focus of the work. Time tends to be wasted. I would rather our time together be intentional, focused, consistent, and potent.
What if we need more time?
3 months of concentrated, focused work can certainly be more than enough. If a 6-month or 9-month framework feels better to you, trust that. After our 3-months together in the Intensive, you will be able to purchase an additional 4-session, 8-session, or 12-session package. The Mother/Daughter Intensive is intentionally designed around concentrated support with Voxer because my experience has shown that this is necessary and helpful. However, going forward, you may decide you only want the mother/daughter sessions and no longer need the additional support. You also have the option of purchasing other mother/daughter intensives I offer if you wish to do the work in a more concentrated way.
What does the voice messaging look like?
Voxer is an application where you can reach out to me and leave a voice memo (as many as you would like). I often respond within 48-hours. You can leave messages at any time of day or night. Voice messaging is a place for you to reach out to me and your use of this space is dependent on you. However, on occasion, if I feel called to share an insight or thought, I will initiate a message to you.
How will this coaching in-between sessions (via Voxer) be helpful?
I find it helpful for both mother and daughter to have me as a touchstone in-between sessions to continue integrating the takeaways from the coaching sessions. While our time in session will undoubtedly be powerful, it is the time in-between sessions where we can slide back into old ways of thinking and reacting.
The voice messaging between sessions also offers you a place to vent and to process further what is coming up for you in the session. It is a place for you to feel heard and supported while you are learning how to hear each other. And other times, it is to ask more questions or get more coaching around things coming up for you that are hard to move past. I will hold your feelings, while also gently bringing you back to center and back to your intention around the relationship. You will have my help uncovering your own needs from the feelings that are being evoked. And you will have my support shifting out of negative mindsets or perspectives that are keeping you locked in the same patterns of interpreting and reacting to your mother/daughter dynamic.
What will we do in our individual 1:1 sessions?
Often in my work with mothers and daughters, I can feel a strong need for each individual to have their own time to process, shift, and work through what is coming up for them. This is why I am intentionally offering 1:1 sessions for each of you in this package. Work with me is deep, loving, and supportive.
As stated above, I am a midwife for tenderness. But our tenderness can often become guarded, buried by stress and tension, or feel like something distant we can’t access. Too often we exist solely in our minds and feel disconnected from the tenderness of our feelings. Yet within this tenderness is the healing we need in the relationship and within ourselves. It is the pathway to the non-superficial connection we are seeking.
Our 1:1 time together will gently bring attention to your own inner, emotional landscape as it relates to your relationship with your mother/daughter. I help you get more in touch with yourself, more open to the new relationship, and more support and understanding for what your experience has been like as a daughter (and woman) yourself. My work with coaching clients does tend toward the somatic (paying attention to what you are feeling and noticing in the present moment) and experiential (allowing for emotion and impulse to flow where it may be constricted). Essentially, I help you get better at feeling - as feeling is the super highway of connection.
What if we need a week off for vacation or work?
We are all humans in this container and as such, we will have vacations, work trips, sick days, and other demands of life. This work is a commitment to 12 sessions over the course of 3 months. However, you will have up to 4 months to make use of all of the sessions. If you need to cancel or reschedule a coaching session, we will re-schedule the session at another time within the same month. If necessary, we can meet for a mother/daughter session twice in one week or combine two sessions for an intensive, which would also be quite valuable. As situations can arise, I am here to work with you.
What if we don’t want the individual sessions?
If you do not feel called to use the individual sessions, we can instead use those 50min. sessions for additional mother/daughter work. You will have 4 months to use all of the sessions.
You are perfect for this if you:
Are genuinely curious and ready to learn what is needed to make your relationship feel better to both of you.
Are genuinely ready to listen to one another.
Are genuinely curious and ready to understand each other’s emotional experience - even if it differs from or contradicts your own.
Are genuinely curious and ready to understand yourself more, including understanding your own emotional needs and how to meet them.
Are genuinely invested in growing as a person, in creating a roadmap for emotional empowerment, and generational healing.
There is a way back to each other.
Together we will find it.
Are you interested in The Intensive but not ready to make the leap? Sign up below so we can stay connected.
(I promise not to inundate you with useless emails but rather honest reflections and deep insights about the mother/daughter relationship.)