Create a relationship with your daughter so strong that no challenge ahead could break it.
Whenever I acknowledge a mother’s relationship with her young daughter, the response is always the same:
“Let’s hope it stays that way.”
It’s hard for mothers to be confident. With all the warnings we receive about the teen years, it can be hard to trust that our relationship with our daughters can stay in tact.
Especially if we didn’t have a close relationship with our own mother. It can be hard to imagine that we could actually break that cycle.
We brace ourselves for when we will become the “annoying” person she no longer wants to talk to.
When we will become sidelined by school and peers and everything else she has going on.
We brace ourselves for when she pushes us away and shuts us out - as if it is inevitable. As if we can’t continue to be her emotional refuge, her safe place, her most sacred confidante.
Mama, it’s time we stop being so afraid.
What ends up happening is we start focusing on all the wrong things and completely missing her.
Our own anxiety starts to invade the relationship.
We start over-correcting behavior and missing the growing human underneath.
We support her independence but we grow less confident in pulling her in close.
We keep reacting…but not going back to repairing….until the tension becomes a wall and we see no way back in.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Yes, of course emotions run high in the tween + teenage years, but emotions have run high in my house since my little girls were toddlers.
We don’t have to be afraid of big emotions.
And we certainly don’t have to be afraid of our daughters….
who need us just as much
during these tumultuous times as they did when they were little.
Your place in your daughter’s life is right by her side. (Don’t let society tell you any different.)
Because YES!!!!!
You can absolutely:
Have a daughter who loves hanging out with you and her family (rather than holing up in her room).
Still be her first call when something amazing (or hard) happens (like she can’t wait to fill you in on all the tea).
Be included in her most important life decisions and her inner life (so you’re not left wondering how she’s doing).
Have the closeness you always wanted through all phases of her life.
And I want to show you how.
Hi, I’m Trish.
And I know all about wanting to do this right.
Right by her - my first born.
And her - my second born - because the universe sent me two.
I didn’t grow up with a close relationship with my mother. I had no modeling for how to nurture or what it meant to be “emotionally close” to someone. I didn’t know the “right things to say” or how to comfort someone when they were crying.
But my own journey of healing and being a therapist for the last 14+ years reconnected me to my natural ability to nurture and connect. As I became more in tune with myself, I became more in tune with others. In some ways, I feel like I learned how to love.
And after spending years healing mother/daughter relationships, I have come to understand exactly what daughters need most from us. And being rooted in these perspectives will shape your responses and help you trust your own heart-led instincts.
I’ve not been perfect at being a mother - believe me.
And I’ve not had children with easy temperaments.
It has been messy + desperate over here at times.
Yet I honestly have no fear about my relationship with my daughters ever going off the track. And after hearing so much fear in other mother’s voices, I knew I needed to start sharing more widely the essential skills that I keep going back to that keeps my relationships with my girls solid.
I want you to have this confidence, too.
I want you to trust the resilience of your daughter, to know exactly how to strengthen that resilience, and to trust the bond you share with her.
I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN there is a way to maintain a strong relationship with our daughter through all the robust growth periods of her life.
I’m committed to showing you how.
Introducing….
An 8-week group coaching program that helps mothers learn the EXACT skills + perspectives necessary to create a relationship with their daughter so strong that no challenge ahead can break it.
Q&A Live Calls: Weekly live calls (70 min.) for group discussion and a sense of community. This is where we can also deepen your understanding of the skills.
On-Demand Coaching: You and your cohort will be part of a Telegram Community. (It’s really the coolest thing, I swear.) This is another place to get support around what is coming up for you. You can share difficult moments, personal reflections, or get your questions answered as you listen to the trainings. I'll respond with an in-depth (no fluff) voice message to support you and coach you. The best part is that each of you get to listen to my responses to others so you get to learn from each other.
Essential Skills + Perspectives: Down-to-earth trainings on the most essential skills & perspectives that will help you know exactly what your role is in your daughter’s life and what she needs from you every step of the way. I speak from the heart and my extensive training + experience working with mothers and daughters. My goal is to help you be clear on the exact steps you need to take to nurture a strong sense of self in your daughter and keep your relationship strong through the years.
Bonus: Letters to Your Daughters. This bonus offers you a template for writing letters to your daughter. Get in touch with what you really want to say to your daughter and walk away with three beautiful letters that you offer freely to her at the time of your choosing.
Bonus: How to Have a No Guilt Relationship: A 90min. pre-recorded talk on the 8 principals to a no-guilt relationship with your daughter. This includes a reflection workbook that helps you get clear on these principals in your life.
Bonus: This is my signature program - one that I will continue to pour my heart into. You will have forever access to any trainings or workshops I add.
Pay in Full Bonus: Mother Daughter Map
If you pay in full for this program, you will get a 90-minute virtual session with me where I draw your mother/daughter map live. Get a breakdown of the generational patterns that caused conflict in your family and map a clear path to make generational change with your daughter. I go into more detail below (past FAQ).
Join my newsletter below to get a better sense of how I think, teach, and parent. I share stories that emphasize the relationship skills I use regarding everything from mean girls to meltdowns. And be the first to know when doors open!
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Your daughter needs space - not from you but WITH you.
Space to express herself.
Space to have a bad day.
Space to fall apart.
Space to solve her own problems.
Space to have all her feelings.
How well you provide this space for her depends on how well you manage this space within yourself.
Jumping in to fix, correct, lecture, or teach can often collapse the space she needs and affects how she feels in relationship to us.
But what is our role? As she gets older, this can become less clear.
This week I will break down the key ROLE you play in your daughter's life.
Understanding your role will answer the question "what does she need from me?" at every point in her life.
It will offer you the clarity of how to respond no matter what she brings to you.
We will unpack your reflexive responses to your daughter and explore ways of building your own capacity + confidence to be with her whenever she shares herself with you.
I will support you here through our 3-months together.
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F*ck perfection. Authenticity is where it’s at. You don’t need to be a perfect example. You need to be an authentic one.
Our children want our authenticity!!! Even when it comes to our own needs, boundaries, and moods.
We will explore what it looks like to be IN relationship with your daughter versus maintaining a parental role of authority and control.
We will explore the role that emotion plays in this - because even if we don’t share our feelings, our daughters pick up on them.
NOTHING BUILDS TRUST like self-awareness + authenticity. We want our daughters to feel connected to us and to trust us. And for that to happen, we must be real with them.
I share how we can do this in a way that takes responsibility for our own needs without passing on that responsibility to our daughters but still allows them to KNOW us and FEEL us.
And I break down why it is so vital for us to be authentic with our daughters with our own feelings, needs, and boundaries.
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I break down the #1 thing that wreaks the most havoc on a mother/daughter relationship. This is how the relationship starts to feel like egg shells and minefields, where her “mood controls the house,” or where you never know when she’s going to blow up at you. We can avoid this - or if it’s already occurring, we can heal this.
You will gain a strong grasp of what it means to see your daughter accurately - and why it is so essential for her sense of self AND your relationship. I will help you understand what to pay attention to so that you CAN see her clearly and know her.
The learning here will be experiential as well - where we also see YOU more clearly. In our 1:1 time, we will work on the narratives you have about yourself and unpack the family history that could blur how you see your daughter.
Once you understand how far this can throw your relationship off track, you will be even more dedicated + diligent about holding onto these powerful perspectives.
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This is where so many issues can arise in a mother/daughter relationship and it is something that a daughter needs most - to feel heard and to be understood.
And it can be confusing for a mother because we feel like we ARE listening to our daughters, yet why is it that our daughters don’t feel heard or understood? This is when it comes down to our RESPONSE.
There is skill involved, which is why I want to teach you HOW to respond to your daughter - precisely what she needs from you - so that she walks away feeling like you “get” her. This is the skill you will practice with me for 3-months!
I will also talk about the impact that our typical responses have on our daughter - and the relationship - even though they are so well-intentioned. We will support you in containing your reflexive responses to jump in and fix, correct, lecture, or teach.
You will learn how to REPLACE these impulses with one of the most powerful responses there is that will not only help her feel understood but also STRENGTHEN her sense of self.
AND I will give you a checklist for what to reflect on and consider in case she ever does say "You just never understand me." That way you are not left in the dark of "what do I do now?"
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As a culture, we often focus on cultivating “independence” in our children. Yet in the dynamic, ever-changing years ahead, what will buoy your daughter THE MOST will be the strength of your attachment relationship.
I will break down why it is so important we “collect” our children from our culture on the daily. And how we can continue to prime the attachment between you both - in a way that supports her independence and peer relationships - but keeps her tethered to the most stable relationships in her life.
In our 1:1 time, we will explore how you experience closeness, what connection actually feels like for you, and where some of your insecurities show up in how you interact with your daughter.
With no judgement and no pressure to do it differently, I guide you on all the ways you can strengthen connection between you and your daughter in every interaction (using key communication tools and connective rituals). Together we can map a plan that helps you lean into your edges relationally while also feeling more assured that you get to be as you are and grow alongside her.
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Buckle your seatbelt because she’s going to have a lot of them. And they are going to be intense, unpredictable, and sometimes confusing.
They are going to be different from yours. They are going to push your buttons. They are going to fly in the face of all you hold dear and true in your heart.
What I offer you are the robust perspectives and mental framework that you can hold onto (and sometimes grip tightly) as your steer through the toughest, roughest storms ahead.
I break down the value of letting your daughter express ALL sides of herself - even the sassy backtalk, door slamming, and darker moments of self-expression. We want to normalize big emotions while also modeling how we can’t let emotions control us.
I offer you a unique perspective on her most intense emotions to help you stay committed to being emotionally regulated while also supporting her developing insight and emotional intelligence.
We also review common communication mistakes we all make that accidentally invalidate our daughter’s experience and how we can respond to her in ways that strengthen connection, build resilience, and support her solving her own problems.
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There are going to be ruptures in the connection between you and your daughter.
You are going to lose your sh*t once in a while (or once a week).
But each time we repair, the trust and the bond between you get stronger and more unbreakable.
I share what I call “the golden thread” of connection and how to keep this thread strong and unbroken throughout your daughter’s life.
I want to teach you the powerful tools of how to make a thorough repair with your daughter that goes beyond apology to strengthen the connection.
I teach you how to get better at tracking yourself and tracking her so that you know when a repair is needed and when a repair is complete.
You will understand the role that shame plays in relationship ruptures and unhinged emotions.
Learn how to walk your child (and yourself) back from shame into reconnection. And learn how to apply and weave in key communication & relationship skills into a through repair.
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Trust ties everything together.
Everything from her feelings, to seeing her accurately, to managing our own anxiety, to truly understanding and honoring who she is. It comes down to trust.
And when we are wired toward fear or uncertainty, or control and authority, it can be really hard to feel a sense of safety and trust in ourselves and in our relationships.
I talk about the power of trust in a relationship - the impact that it has when a child feels trusted vs. when a child feels controlled.
To explore this during our 1:1 time, we will unpack your OWN experience of being trusted growing up and experientially explore what it would feel like to trust your daughter vs. being centered in fear.
This includes trusting our daughter’s ability to struggle, feel all the feelings, solve her own problems, and find her path.
We will also discuss the difference between your clarity and your fear so that you can know which part of yourself to listen to and trust as well.
Why Learn from Me
Because if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s connection.
It’s my super power. I have a trained expertise in secure attachment, but even more so, I have learned how to harness my emotional sensitivity into an understanding of relationships. I know what builds connection and what strains it. And how to make that connection so strong - overflowing, in fact - that no conflict or strife can break it.
I’m also not here just to teach you or overwhelm you with information.
I’m here to help you implement. I’m here to help you grow.
I want you to walk away from this program feeling different and responding differently in your relationship. The experiential work we do helps to unblock or contain or soothe the parts of you that reflexively respond to your daughter.
I believe there is a way we can support our child’s highest self, combat cultural influences, help them solve problems, and maintain a strong sense of connection through all stages of their lives.
As a teacher, I get straight to the heart of things. I am here to offer a very compassionate, warm-hearted space to lend you insight, support your process, and help you walk away with confidence and clarity about how to best nurture yourself, your daughter, and your connection to each other.
Our daughters are an invitation.
to know ourselves more intimately.
to get better at feeling.
to be more in touch with our own needs.
to grow alongside her +
to reclaim the worthiness of inhabiting our
own body.
8 weeks.
Emerge with more confidence.
Deeper trust in your relationship.
And three beautiful letters.
(Imagine how good that will feel.)
***Pay in Full Bonus: Mother Daughter Map
If you pay in full for this program, you will get a 90-minute virtual session with me where I draw your mother/daughter map live. Get a breakdown of the generational patterns that caused conflict in your family and map a clear path to make generational change with your daughter. I go into more detail below (past FAQ).
Still have a few questions? I got ya…
Q: Is this experience going to make me feel bad as a mother? Like I’m not doing enough?
A: I am an imperfect mother. I fail often. I fail daily. I present to you the necessary, the essential, yet I also weave in the reality that we will not always succeed at this ideal, as being the “perfectly attuned mother.” She doesn’t exist. We do our best to grow into the mothers our daughters need us to be. This is a lifelong journey of learning, listening, and understanding our daughters - and ourselves. I designed this program to be a small, intimate group to offer the kind of safety and support that I believe mothers need in order to learn these new skills. And I believe it is helpful to all of us to have community and to know we are not alone. As mothers, we ALL go through seasons where we feel like we are failing. Even me. Even a therapist needs outside support and help. Even a therapist’s daughter has anxiety.
One of my goals is to weed out all the guilt and shame for being imperfect and really emphasize simple, gentle ways you can show up authentically to your daughter as you are and still be exactly the mother she needs. I truly believe we grow into the mother our daughter needs and that this is a lifelong commitment of growth and generational healing. We are all in this together. And yes, we may not grow at the pace they sometimes need (we often don’t) but I am here to help you trust your inherent belonging in your daughter’s life (and help you see just how much she welcomes and needs you in her life as well).
Q: What happens after I hit the Enroll button for Mama Have Mercy?
A: As soon as you enroll for Mama Have Mercy you will get an email welcoming you to the program. I will send you a link to the Facebook Group and then send out a poll for what times work best for our Q+A calls. I will then email you personally to schedule our first 1:1 session and I will get you linked up to Telegram. The program officially starts Monday, October 22nd. I will send out the first Essential Skills training video that week and we will plan for our first Q+A call.
Q: What will the coaching be focused on?
A: I am not a parent coach. I am a relationship + connection expert. Connection and secure attachment is my expertise. I have also been specifically trained in the mother/daughter attachment relationship. I will not have clear solutions for how to get your daughter to bed or how to get her to eat her dinner. The focus in my coaching is how to help you build and maintain a strong connection to your daughter through the many challenges of emotions, puberty, and conflicts that will arise. And how to best support her in having a strong sense of self as she navigates her own life challenges. I am here to support you in having better conversations with your daughter that support your relationship rather than devolve into conflict (and when that happens, as it will, how to repair thoroughly so that it strengthens your understanding of each other).
Q: What will each Essential Skill contain?
Each Essential Skills topic will be a module that contains:
An in-depth training on the topic. These trainings are down-to-earth and will break down exactly what your daughter needs - and why. The trainings will give you the perspectives and mindset to keep you centered and focused as a mom through all the different phases of your daughter’s life.
A very clear how-to video that explains the purpose of each relational skill, how to conceptualize it, and how to apply it. I want the skills to be crystal clear to you - and for you to have the support in practicing the skills during our coaching together.
Workbook (with print-outs) that include scripts to guide you, conversation starters, and anecdotal scenarios that help you visualize the skill playing out in real life.
Writing prompts that invite you to reflect on yourself and your own childhood to deepen your understanding of why a skill or perspective matters.
Because our work together will be inspired and dynamic, I may record additional trainings to include in each module as we go.
Q: How often will modules be released?
I will be recording the modules as we go. There are 8 Essential Skills modules and we will have 8-weeks together. While I will release most modules weekly, I may also titrate some of the skills to give you time to listen, discuss, and integrate. I want you to have access and go at your own pace and I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.
Q: How does Telegram work?
Telegram is a voice-memo app where you and your cohorts will share a broadcast channel. You will able to submit questions and reflections 24/7 via Facebook (I’ll have an easy-to-use system) and I will respond with an in-depth voice-memo in Telegram that all of you can listen to. So you will each get to hear my responses and thoughts on everyone’s questions or struggles via Telegram. I will hop into Telegram 3-4x/week.
Q: What if I can’t make the Q+A calls?
A: Q&A calls will be recorded and sent out - so don’t worry if you miss one! Plus, you will have access to me via Telegram. The Q+A calls are an opportunity for us to connect with each other and answer more in-depth questions. You are welcome to submit questions before the coaching calls and I will answer them on the call.
Q: How will I access the recordings?
After running this program previously, I have decided to pre-record these trainings so that you can absorb them at your own pace, listen on the go, and ask questions on Telegram as you go. The recordings will be contained within one place and I aim to make the recordings easy to access and listen to again and again. I take you through the vital perspectives you need to hold onto + the skills for how to start conversations, how to repair + reconnect, and how to respond in certain situations.
Q: How long can I access the recordings?
A: You will have lifetime access to this program so that you can circle back to certain themes and review the trainings again and again.
Q: Are there bonuses if I pay in full?
Yes!! If you pay in full for this program, you will get a 90-minute virtual session with me where I draw your mother/daughter map live. Get a breakdown of the generational patterns that caused conflict in your family and map a clear path to make generational change with your daughter. I go into more detail below.
Q: Do you offer refunds?
This is an ALL-IN program. So I will not be offering refunds. However, if at any point, you are not getting what you need, please feel free to reach out to me and we can discuss how to improve your experience!
Q: If I’m on the fence, but want to learn more about you, how can I stay in touch?
A: Join my newsletter below to get a better sense of how I think, teach, and parent. I share stories that emphasize the relationship skills I use regarding everything from mean girls to meltdowns. And be the first to know when doors open!
Pay in Full BONUS: Mother/Daughter Map
What is Mother Daughter Mapping?
The pay in full bonus for this program is a 90min. virtual session where I draw your mother/daughter map live.
CENTERS WOMEN: A mother/daughter mapping session centers the emotional experience of the 3 primary women in your family lineage: daughter, mother, grandmother You are the daughter in your own map. We aim to understand the women in your family - their lives, circumstances, and emotional realities - as a way of seeing the generational patterns and themes that re-occur in each generation and how those patterns lead to conflict.
CLARITY + PATH TO CHANGE: By clearly identifying the patterns and their repercussions, we chart a path to change for you as a woman, how you relate to your own mother, and exactly what you need to focus on to break these generational patterns with your own daughter.
PRE-WORK: You will receive the instructions for pre-work that involve gathering facts about these women, including the dates of their birth, # of siblings, age upon which they married or had children, and the gender limitations and expectations that defined their lives.
90 MIN MAPPING SESSION: We don’t rush this. During the 90min+ mapping session, we will break down the emotional realities and relationships of these women. This is a visual experience where I chart your map live (albeit virtually) in front of you. By doing so, we begin to see the patterns that get passed down through the generations.
SOFTER PERSPECTIVES: The map will offer you softer eyes from which you see yourself, your daughter, and perhaps even your own mother and invites you go forward in your life, honoring your needs, feelings, and voice in the world.
Threads that are golden don’t break easily.
- Tori Amos
I'll help you...
Learn the exact perspectives to hold onto and the essential responses to offer - so that your daughter feels you there when she needs you most.
Recognize how your own history impacts your parenting so you can start healing + growing alongside your daughter.
Learn how to keep your daughter close (while letting her be a separate person) and be the solid support system she needs when other parts of her life feel unsteady.
Connect to a deeper sense of trust in yourself and your daughter.
Why Letters?
I include letter prompts as an included bonus in this program. I have always sensed that letter writing would be an important medium in which I would communicate with my daughters. That during tumultuous periods of their own life, when they would not be so keen on listening to me, I wanted them to have access to my guidance if they wanted it. And I knew they might take my guidance in more readily if they had the option to read it in private.
The letters also reassure me that I have left something behind for my girls. That if something were to ever happen to me, they would have something concrete to hold onto. My voice forever there reassuring them, guiding them, loving them.
I have developed 3 themes to organize your letter writing for your daughter. Although of course they will be thought-provoking, these letters are not meant to take a ton of time. The prompts are here to guide you from start-to-finish and to help make each letter concise, focused, and clear. And the coaching is here to help you if you get stuck.
The writing prompts I provide you offer a starting-off place for letter writing. (If you are feeling nervous about the writing aspect, never fear. The prompts are here to guide you and your written responses are meant to be written in letter form and directly offered to your daughter.)
These letters are meant to be something you freely* give your daughter when it feels appropriate (*i.e., no strings attached) and something they can choose to read in private during different periods of time in their life.